PC World recently published an article that really rubbed us, and many other gamers, the wrong way. We could have expected something like that from a magazine aimed at teenage console gamers – but a PC orientated magazine? Come on guys – even if it was meant to be funny you really went a bit overboard. It was obvious trolling, but hey we’ll bite.  So let us look at their statements shall we?

Reasons to hate PC gamers #8: They’re elitists

If you’re a video game fan with a soft spot for consoles, never, ever get into a conversation with a PC gamer. They will tell you at length, and with the utmost smugness, why their ‘gaming rig’ is vastly superior to your piddling little toy. FPS fans are especially open to ridicule, with the mouse-vs-controller argument forever on the tip of a PC gamer’s silver-spooned tongue. To avoid these unsightly conflicts, we recommend bludgeoning them on sight with your Xbox/PS3.

Right, and you haven’t just done exactly the same thing? Isn’t it generally the console crowd that can’t stop screaming how great their console is and how all other consoles on the market are inferior and must be avoided at all costs? Have you ever considered that many gamers actually have both at least one console and a PC?

Also, I own several consoles and PC’s. Both have their place;
Racing, Beat ‘em Up, Arcade Games, Anything without in-depth game play: Console / Controller is superior.
Strategy, FPS, RPG, anything with in-depth game play: PC with Mouse & Keyboard is vastly preferred.

That said, you can connect a controller to a PC and a keyboard/mouse combo to a decent console. If developers increase the level of support for both sides of that coin – maybe this argument can finally be put to rest.

Reasons to hate PC gamers #7: ‘E-Sports’

I’m sorry, but playing computer games is not a sport. I don’t care how honed your Counter-Strike reflexes are. The whole ‘e-sports’ phenomenon is surely one of the most try-hard, laughably unimpressive professions in the world: and yet we’re supposed to take these ‘athletes’ seriously. (Since when has sitting in a chair clicking a mouse been in any way athletic?)

“My guys train five hours a night, five days a week, which is more than some professional footballers!” Team Immunity’s manager once boasted. “…Maybe they don’t hit the gym as much.” You don’t say.

As much as you or I might agree or disagree with what constitutes as a sport, this is a rubbish argument. So what about Snooker, Darts, Curling, Horse Racing or any of these other so called ‘sports’? How long will it be before Dance Revolution, Wii Sports or Kinect Sports are including in the e-sport arena? Let’s see what you have to say then…

Some StarCraft players have a staggering APM (actions per minute), which means they are definitely athletic as far as their hand-eye coordination is concerned. Just as much so as, for example, Darts. If sport is something requiring lots of physical skill, they definitely have it.

Reasons to hate PC gamers #6: They’re filthy pirates

PC gamers seem to think they have a God-given right to illegally download computer games for free. This is stealing; plain and simple — and it’s affecting the industry in a big way.

When queried about its draconian DRM policies, Ubisoft threw the issue back at PC gamers’ faces, and rightfully so: “Are we frustrated by the PC market? I think everyone is. In the end it all comes back to one single truth: piracy is a big, huge, hairy problem. It’s a market that suffered a lot because of piracy, and we’re all just trying to figure out what we think is the best way to deal with it.” In other words, pay for your games, you scroungers.

It’s a little insulting calling all PC gamers pirates. And what’s the first thing you did with that console? You got a chip put in so you can play burned/pirated/foreign copies of your console games, because they are so ridiculously expensive – didn’t you? (Many people do so, so by your logic all console gamers must, right?  And piracy is equally an issue on consoles).

Besides, services like Steam drive the prices of games down and their availability up – thereby reducing piracy significantly. There are always people who will pirate things, but those same people are pirating console games as well.

Reasons to hate PC gamers #5: They make the rest of us look like nerds

Once upon a time, playing video games was about as socially acceptable as owning a 12-sided dice. It was something nerds did in-between zit-popping and Star Trek marathons (or at least, that was the popular playground perception at the time). To talk incessantly about video games was to invite wedgie annihilation from all directions. Needless to say, it was a dangerous time to be a gamer.

Thankfully, things have come along in leaps and bounds since then — unless you’re a PC gamer, that is. For some reason, PC gamers have refused to leave the tissue-strewn basement of our inglorious past. Most of ‘em still play flight sims, war games and orc-filled RPGs: apparently by choice. They also have serious BO issues, as any LAN tournament will attest. Then there are PC gamer poster boys like Leeroy Jenkins, Red Shirt Guy and that dude who tried to stick a remote control up his butt.

I draw your attention to the following image.

Console Nerd

I rest my case.

It must also be pointed out that Red Shirt Guy has a mental disability and you are laughing at that. What he did was a major thing to him and he should be applauded, not ridiculed. Shame on you. Also:

Reasons to hate PC gamers #4: They’re shameless graphics fanatics

PC gamers don’t really care about gameplay. They’re more interested in teasing a few extra frames per second out of their ridiculously overpriced ‘gaming rig.’ When you spend more time fiddling around in BIOS than actually playing, it’s time to face facts: you’re no longer a gamer.

And that’s exactly why websites such as GoG.com, GamersGate and Steam sell so many old/retro titles, and why a huge number of gamers run on very old gaming rigs. It is true that there is a certain type of gamer who only look at graphics – but those include console gamers, and most likely in larger numbers. In the end, the consoles are limited in terms of game play due to their control schemes and hardware limitations.

I’d love to see games such as X3: Terran Conflict, The Guild, Master of Orion 2 or Total War actually *work* on a console, never mind play in a pleasant fashion. KotoR and Planescape: Torment are among the highest viewed articles on Mana Pool – suggesting that the majority of our readers value gameplay over graphics.

Also, did you change your settings to HD 1080p on your console? Did you tweak your audio to Digital 5.1? I would bet that if your set-up has those capabilities, that it was one of the first things you did. Does that make you an elitist non-gamer prick as well?

Reasons to hate PC gamers #3: They have more money than sense

So, you want to get into PC gaming huh? The first thing to do is grab an Origin Genesis gaming PC: with an RRP of $10,893, it’s an absolute steal! Or maybe you just want to upgrade your PC’s graphic card to something a bit meatier? The Asus R.O.G MARS is going cheap at just $1999! Perhaps portable gaming is more your bag? If so, the ASUS Lamborghini VX5 can be yours for just $3499! Bargains, all three of ‘em!

Alternatively, you could buy a Nintendo Wii, a PlayStation 3, an Xbox 360 and a Nintendo DSi XL for a fraction of the price. But who’d want to go and do something stupid like that?

This argument is one of the most amusing ones. First, only a very small minority of gamers will buy those machines, which are aimed at the ‘elite’ of gaming. You have that same elite in the console world, in the form of people playing on limited edition gold/silver/halo/whatever coloured version of the console. (Those don’t actually provide any additional performance or benefit, so it’s an even sillier form of elitism).

Second, the PC can last as long as the user wants it to – provided it doesn’t break. Generally, they are backwards compatible and you can easily play games from 20 years ago if you would desire so. Consoles NEED replacing every few years, as games will no longer be released for them, full stop.

Third, the PC can be used for a wide array of other activities, so that budget doesn’t go 100% towards pure gaming. People do their work on the PC, be it for school or their job, order groceries, shop for Christmas presents and perform a huge array of other useful functions within the household. When comparing the costs of an average PC to a console, the console is far more expensive for the functionality it provides. And when you then count the fact that console games are two to three times more expensive per game, you’re talking a whole different ballgame.

Reasons to hate PC gamers #2:MMORPGs

When your parents told you to get out of the house more, I don’t think this is what they had in mind.

Nor did they mean for you to play another game of Tekken, Mario or Final Fantasy. What’s your point? You’re still gaming, regardless of whether or not you are in an MMO or a single player game… Clocking 1,000 hours in Halo is a lot sadder than doing the same in a socially orientated environment – at least as far as mental health and interaction is concerned. The most intelligent conversation you will have in a console FPS is “haha you suck, noob” followed by a very nerdish snicker from some 12-year old kid.

Reasons to hate PC gamers #1: They’re always complaining

The average PC gamer is a moaning, winging waste of space who never runs out of things to complain about.

Whenever a feature is cut from a game, or it doesn’t live up to expectations, the PC gaming fraternity goes on a hysterical nerd-fueled rampage, with scores of online petitions, irate death threats and organised boycotts clogging the Internet. They make John McEnroe’s famed dummy-spits look like articulate debates.

Is it any wonder that games publishers are abandoning the PC market in droves? It’s simply not worth the effort of releasing a PC game these days – even if it’s perfect, you guys will find something to nitpick. Presumably, you won’t be happy until the entire games industry has washed its hands of you. That day can’t come soon enough.

You just described the human race. Well done. The more popular something gets, the more attention it attracts and the more people will complain/whine. Ever watched a video on YouTube of a guy getting owned in a (console) FPS, punching the wall in a tantrum and then bursting in tears while shouting how unfair life is for giving him such a crap game? There you go.

Suggest you find a more mature game/crowd and notice a much different kind of interaction. We don’t want any aspect of the gaming market to reduce or vanish – we want developers to bear in mind what platforms they develop their games for and adjust the controls accordingly. We want MORE depth, not less. Wishing that the PC market would vanish is not helpful in the slightest.

Anyway – it is clear that this posted on the site of a PC magazine was a giant troll. Nevertheless it’s a completely idiotic article which they should never have published. And for that, you’ve lost a lot of respect. Fact.