Rock of Ages Review
8.0our score

Rock of Ages, in its simplest design, is a Tower Defence game. It is also a movie, for some reason, but that’s another story. Brought to us by ACE Team, an indie team nested in Santiago, Chile, it’s a country known for its high mountains, death roads and the Easter Island Moai, unknown for harbouring such a good indie team. A bit like the UK is known for good food, truth be told. It’s there, people just focus on Fish and Chips, for some reason.

Culture aside, this game, as I said, forces you to guide a stone ball through perilous paths, bursting through your enemy’s not so carefully placed defences, culminating in crashing down the enemy gate and flattening your opponent before he does the same to you. Multiplayer works the same way, except at a lot faster pace. The story, albeit relatively confusing, is amusing and contains several historical characters and references to them, which you then destroy and flatten for your personal pleasure.

Say "cheese"

Say cheese.

How To: TD

Each game is divided into two stages, Defence and Offence, which is cycled depending on whether you have an available Rock to use. During the Defensive stage, you get to plant any defences at your disposal to try and stop your opponents’ Rock from reaching your gates, hence displaying the game’s Tower Defence aspect.

During the Offence stages, you roll your Rock downhill to splatter yourself against the enemy gates. The enemy defences serve a dual purpose here. First, as you hit them, you lose health, thereby reducing the damage you do on the gates. At the same time, you need to hit these defences in order to earn points to use as Rock upgrades which, in turn, give you various skills in order to arrive at your enemy’s gates “safely.”

Tower Defense made limited.

Graphics

Graphically, it’s a simple game. It’s reminiscent of Duke Nukem, with those flattened character designs, only more detailed and less pixelated – a very art-filled world made of a brown and grey palette. The sounds are all you could expect from a giant rock rolling downhill towards a large gate, with your bloody splats, crashes, and mooing (you’ll understand if you decide to play it).

Conclusion

All in all, Rock of Ages is an enjoyable game if you’re into Tower Defence with a twist, where you might find yourself glued to the screen just for the millenarian jokes. Not much else can be said of the game, truth be told.

Pros:

  • Indie game, obviously
  • Good historical/mentality jokes
Cons:

  • It’s TD, meaning repetitiveness
  • Smiling rocks, creepy

System Requirements

OS: Windows XP/Vista/7
Processor: Dual Core 1.6 GHz or better
Memory: 1.5 GB or higher
Graphics: 256mb video ram or better (GeForce 7 series or higher/Radeon HD3000 series or higher)
DirectX®: 9.0c
Hard Drive: 1.2 GB
Sound: Windows supported Sound Card
Internet: Online play requires Broadband Internet Connection

the author

Three years ago, a good friend of mine asked me "Why Oryngton? Why not your real name?", to which I answered him: "I'd love to see you try to say my name properly: Diogo. Have fun chewing your tongue out." To this day, he's yet to accomplish this feat.